


Spidey senses

by Pegship



Category: Castle (TV) RPF
Genre: Actors, Behind the Scenes, Dialogue-Only, Episode Related, Gen, Humor, Spiders, Spoilers, s08e01 XY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 02:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4859936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pegship/pseuds/Pegship
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Nathan's got to do a scene with spiders crawling on his head, he's going to be professional about it. The spiders feel the same way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spidey senses

**Author's Note:**

> What the spiders might have been saying during THAT SCENE in Castle's opening season 8 episode, "XY".
> 
> (Not in any way related to Spider-Man, despite the title. Just saying.)

_[Scene: Nathan Fillion, as Richard Castle, is seated as if tied to a chair in a nearly-empty warehouse. When he doesn't give the bad guy the info he wants, bad guy starts letting spiders out to walk on his head. These are not small spiders.]_

Spidey #1: Hi, Mr. Fillion. Big fan, I gotta say. I like the product on your hair, by the way. Whoops, sorry, didn’t mean to poke you in the eye.

Spidey #2: They told me he isn’t ticklish… if he is, they’ll be hearing from my agent.

Spidey #3: He really is ruggedly handsome. I can feel it.

Spideys #4, 5, 6: Make some room, guys. His head’s big, but it’s not _that_ big.

Spidey #2: Hey, I’m walking here! What number are _you_ on the call sheet?

Spidey #3: Dude, don’t shake your head so hard… I may have eight legs, but I don’t wanna go flying and break one.

Spidey #5: He smells like cherries!

Spidey #1: Incoming… time for the bag…

Spideys (all): Scuse me – pardon me – coming through –

Spidey #3: Over here, guys - stay away from his nose and mouth, he’s gonna need ‘em near the end of the take.

Spidey #2: Somebody better yell cut soon…I’m just hanging onto an ear, here.

Spidey #1: Fall back. Here comes the knife.

Spidey #6: You gotta hand it to this guy. He coulda lost his nose.

_[director calls “cut!”]_

Spidey #4: That’s it?

Spidey #5: Next bit they’re gonna use fakes… AHA rules.*

Nathan: Thanks, guys. Hey, don’t wander off, the wranglers’ll come pick you up. Just stay put. I can’t believe I’m talking to a spider.

Spidey #1: Thank _you_ , Mr. Fillion. Back in the box, folks.

Spidey #3: Wow, I can’t believe I got to work with Nathan Fillion.

Spidey #4: Nicest face I ever crawled on. Hey, d’you think I could get Stana Katic’s autograph?

**Author's Note:**

> *American Humane Association. They authorize those “no animals were harmed” statements at the end of movie credits.
> 
> If you can stand the sight of fuzzy spiders walking on NF's face, [here's the clip.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2bzPByn3K4) SERIOUSLY - THIS COULD BE TRAUMATIC. I COULD BARELY WATCH IT MYSELF. WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK.


End file.
